


leidon ai hodnes

by befham



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Post 3x07, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:27:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/befham/pseuds/befham
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Ai hod yu in," Clarke whispers to Lexa for the first and the last time. "May we meet again."</p><p> </p><p>  <b>Spoilers for 3x07</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	leidon ai hodnes

Her eyes are locked on the black bloodied sheets where Lexa's body once lay. From a distance she can hear Murphy's panicked voice and his frantic searching for a way out, and though she knows that their fate is likely death now that Lexa is no longer at her side to protect Skaikru, she cannot bring herself to look away from the blood. 

For an absurd moment, she is so sure that this is just a dream, and she will wake up in Lexa's arms with the afternoon sun dancing on their skin. They will reluctantly say goodbye for now with soft kisses and lingering touches, but all will be worth it in the end when there is peace and then they can be reunited once more.

But the turmoil in her heart and the gut wrenching pain that boils inside of her cannot possibly be a dream, for nothing that makes you feel so wretched can't possibly be anything but reality.

It wasn't supposed to end like this. They were supposed to have more time. To achieve peace between their people and to heal old wounds that still lingered.

 _They_ were supposed to have more time.

Not an hour before she had allowed herself to think of the possibility of peace, of happiness, of them. 

Now she has a black hole where her heart was ripped out of her chest the moment Lexa left this world.

It is ironic that Lexa, who is the fiercest fighter she has ever met, has been taken from her by a weapon from her own people. It's a betrayal she does not know if she can forgive. Lexa, the ruthless commander who was devoted to her people. But to Clarke she was the strong, smart, caring woman who forced her way into Clarke's heart when she thought that she could never love again. She would be remembered by her people as the one commander in history to unite the twelve clans and as a great leader in their times of war. 

Clarke would remember her hungry kisses against her mouth, calloused fingers and soft lips against her skin. She would remember how it felt to have Lexa in her arms, despite how brief their time together was, and the weight that lifted off her shoulders as she did something that was solely for her since the first time she stepped onto the ground.

She will be remembered and forever loved, by her people and by Clarke, for a world without Lexa's penetrating eyes and soft smile was not much of a world at all.

Her blood boils with rage at the unfairness of it all. The same urge that forced her to kill over 300 people in that wretched mountain rises. The need to make Titus pay for killing his beloved _Heda_ is almost unquenchable, but the it is only the faint echo of Lexa's command fluttering inside her mind that stops her from seeking revenge.

_Blood must not have blood._

It is what she died believing in, and she is loath to go against her final wishes.

And without vengeance, she has nothing left.

Clarke takes a step closer to the bed. She wants to crawl into the bloodied sheets and let the grounders and Skaikru fight it out between themselves. For once she wants to be selfish and not do what is best for her people. She wants to give up and hide away from the world until death claims her and she can be by Lexa's side once more.

 _Don't be afraid._

Clarke clenches her jaw. She is not afraid. She is not weak, and she will not dishonor Lexa's memory by selfishly doing what is easy and giving up.

Straightening her spine, Clarke wipes her eyes and forces a terrible smile on her lips. She is Clarke of the Skaikru, _Wanheda_. The Commander of Death. She has known death. Her father, Wells, Finn. And now Lexa. She will mourn Lexa and what could have been and what is forever lost, but first she will see to it that there is peace between their people. She owes it to her people, to her mother, to Bellamy, Octavia and her friends, but she owes it to Lexa too, the only commander to die for peace.

But just for a brief moment, Clarke closes her eyes and wallows in her grief and misery, thinking of every moment from those cold, calculating eyes she laid upon Clarke as she demanded the life of the boy that she had loved, to the soft, loving eyes that looked upon her with reverence as she took her final breaths. She forces herself to remember it all, every look and every touch, every betrayal and the forgiveness that she had no choice but to grant.

Because she loved her, and she would always forgive her, even when Lexa left her for good.

" _Ai hod yu in_ ," Clarke whispers to Lexa for the first and the last time. "May we meet again."

**Author's Note:**

> My poor darlings. I am a firm Bellarke shipper, but these two had so much chemistry and over time I have come to adore them. I cried like a bitch during 3x07, and if it upset me then Clexa fans must be heartbroken. 
> 
> This will likely be my one and only Clexa story, but how could I not write something dedicated to the beautiful character that was Lexa.


End file.
